I’m in a relationship with my GREY hair…. It’s complicated.
Throughout generations, a woman’s hair has been an extremely identifying quality. We’ve all heard it before. “Blondes have more fun”, “Watch out for those fierce Red Heads”, “Those stunning intellectual Brunettes”. Our hair color can not only enhance our beauty, but is also an outer reflection of how we wish to portray ourselves.
This can all make the inevitable “Going Grey” process very difficult to stomach for many women.
Sure you see bombshells like Helen Mirren and Meryl Streep making it look easy in their dazzling Red Carpet Interviews but the reality is, there is still a lot of smoke and mirrors. For one, these looks are still chemically enhanced by celebrity stylists concocting stunning overlays to bring out the most flattering tones in the icy spectrum, and secondly, not everyone’s hair greys the same.
My name is Aubrey Bonnah-Vink and I am a master colourist in downtown Vancouver with over a decade of experience in the industry.
I am going to share with you some of my insights from working behind the chair with hundreds of women who have “complicated” relationships with their grey hair.
Here is a bit about the process of transitioning into this next phase of your hair journey and some key points to remember to make it as “graceful” as it can be…
A key factor that a lot of women forget when they come to me with the excitement and confidence that they’ve decided to “Let it all go”, is that we as your stylist cannot control the shades and placement of your pesky new snowy highlights.
The fact of the matter is that most grey hair is coarse and fickle and will pop up exactly where you’d like it the least.
Countless times in my career, I have seen women who have all their natural rich tones in the back two-thirds of their head. The top part line and sides, however, have been aggressively peppered with those vengeful wirey greys that are gifted to each of us individually by a combination of heredity and stress.
It always starts the same, a few highlights to blend them out, then a few more, followed by a partial root touch up just around the face. Pretty soon, ladies, you have a solid color painted over your entire head making you feel gorgeous and glorious.
You think you’ve got it all figured out until all of a sudden one day, years down the road when you realize those greys have been building alliances under all that hair color. They’ve now built an army and taken over much more than the original twenty percent of your head when this all began.
Now every two weeks, you get a lovely gleaming white halo coming through, right on top of your head.
Put it back in a ponytail you say?
Why of course not!
They’ve built up a front line barrier all the way around your hairline holding just as strong and bright as their fellow soldiers at the top. So what do you do?
Well, ladies, the best news is that you are not alone. Grey hair is the most common and self-shamed issue that women of all ages come into our salons looking for advice on.
Times are changing and as hairstylists, we do not want our clients to ever feel embarrassed or ashamed of their grey at any age. Ultimately grey hair is part of everyone’s genetics and those genes are what make us who we are.
We love when women come in and are ready to embrace the grey, however it is a process and patience is the key. Here are some tips on getting through it together.
- First things first, grey is still a hair color and not every hair color looks perfect with every skin tone and eye color. Be prepared to not love your “all-natural” look right out of the gate.
You will have less frequent salon visits because the color contrast will be a lot less drastic. You may still need to make small enhancements to your natural grey over the years, to find the tone that best suits you.
- Second… Silver, Grey, Smokey or Steel… no matter how you say it these are all still shades of an Ash Blonde. If you are not willing to be a blonde to start, then I would not recommend going grey.
Grey hair is the lack of pigment cells in the hair follicle. Over time this leads to less melanin in the hair, causing its transparent color.
In order to imitate the grey in your hair, your stylist will need to begin by removing all the artificial color you have now built up over the years. This is a difficult process and more fragile hair types can easily become more porous and dry.
In order to imitate the grey, your stylist will need to begin by removing all the artificial color you have now built up over the years.
This similar to a highlight process and they will need to use a strong bleach-based color.
It is a difficult process and more fragile hair types can easily become more porous and dry. Extra conditioning can help.
The best way to transition is to be less attached you your length, and find a sassy shorter cut that you are comfortable with.
This will remove as much of the excess color from the hair as possible.
This also gives you a much healthier style moving forward with the processing because eliminating older hair will mitigate breakage.
Ultimately you must be patient with the process. Truthfully, going grey gracefully is not really how it works. Sure it’s much easier if you have less artificial color in your hair or if you are already a lighter shade naturally versus a darker brunette, but mentally going grey is also full of obstacles.
I’ve seen women in their twenties with full heads of silver. That fully bright crystal white look can be absolutely gorgeous and very on-trend in recent years, but it can also be frustrating for a young woman who has no choice in the matter.
Find a talented stylist you trust and talk to them about your going grey journey because don’t forget, in our chairs you are never alone.
