Stop worrying about looking stupid- embrace your silly!
When you become more self-confident you achieve more of your goals.
How many times have you held back for fear of stupid?
This fear can stop us from trying new things personally as well as professionally.
I wonder sometimes if successful people only achieve more because they try more. They don’t let this fear of looking stupid, hold them back.
I’ve spent so much of my life worrying about this. All too often I’ve been too scared to say or do things because I’m worried about what people might think.
This is true for so many of us, and I am sure you have your own story
However, I am a fully paid up, card-carrying member of ‘The How to be Silly’ club and if you’re not a member already, I encourage you to join.
So has joining made me more self-confident, I hear you ask?
Well, I haven’t achieved full oracle status yet, I am definitely a work in progress, but I am well on the path to fulfilling my dream. Yes, one of my goals in life is to look a bit of an idiot, and love it.
It is just so liberating to behave in a foolish manner.
Frivolity is not only fun, I believe it is essential for becoming more self-confident, so let’s not fear it so much.
Thinking this way has made me more confident and more outgoing, so I’ve made more friends due to that. I am definitely more outspoken, as I finally believe I have the right to have an opinion. Previously I would have too scared to put an idea forward in case I looked stupid.
I want to tell you about one of the most, probably trivial, but pleasurable gains I have had so far. It’s probably me channelling my inner glamour queen, but it’s karaoke!
Before I adopted the ‘it’s ok to look foolish’ mantra, there is no way I would have got up on stage. I would see people who did this and had no idea how they could do that. Weirdly, they looked like they were having so much fun. How?
Anyone who knows me knows that I am no singer which actually makes me the perfect for karaoke.
No one wants good karaoke singer, it’s not an audition for American Idol, it’s not fun, and no one wants to follow that.
I do, however, perform under the important rule of, if you can’t be good then be loud and proud.
I may feel foolish, but people are laughing with me, not at me, and trust me, I am laughing. It’s wonderful fun, outrageously liberating.
There is a much deeper problem than the lack of karaoke in your life, with hanging on to this fear of looking stupid.
Most people’s biggest goal in life is often not to be happy or fulfilled, but it’s these 3 small but very damaging words:
“Don’t look stupid.”
I sadly lived this way for many years, so I missed out on so much laughter and so many experiences. This goal held me back, so I decided to get a new one.
I wanted fun, personal and professional fulfilment and a new sense purpose..
Once I embraced the idea that looking or behaving foolishly was ok, I found myself being more courageous and doing more of things that I love. Not only has this given me more self-confidence, but it has also given me more determination and drive.
The impact on me professionally has been huge. My decision and ability to be a mentor and motivational speaker stems from me joining this club. Having a message and the ability to help alone is not enough. The old Eloise would have worried about all the ways I could feel stupid instead of focusing on how I can help people. I’d rather embrace my goal, share my message and risk looking foolish than not try at all.
Sometimes, if I’m feeling really bold, I plan things to deliberately make me feel even more foolish to try and desensitize myself.
If anyone wants to join me then let me know.
In fact, I encourage you to join me, it’ll be fun!
It doesn’t have to be anything grand.
Here is a simple example, when I am happy, I like to skip along the street. Yes, people stare which bothered me at first, but now I just enjoy the feeling.
I have done and will continue to do, other more daring things to push me outside my comfort zone. A short while ago, I stopped a stranger in the street and asked to tell him a story. He said yes, so I did.
Thank you, Adolphus, (who likes to be called AJ), you were very kind.
I have to admit that at the time, I did feel silly, but let’s be honest, that was the whole point. Afterwards, I felt amazing, I mean really pumped. A.J. stood and listened and (hopefully) enjoyed a story about the history of the doughnut. In case you are wondering, it became famous during WWI and the Doughnut Girls!
