How Happy Are You Really?
Is happiness your ultimate goal in life?
If so, then what does happiness actually mean?
Everyone will have their own very personal views on this, but for the purpose of this article, let’s Look at the Oxford English Dictionary’s Definition of Happiness.
The Oxford English Dictionary’s definition of “happiness” is:
“The state of being happy.”
Hmm, well that’s not much help, is it!
Let’s dig a little deeper and see what they say the definition of “happy” is.
The Oxford English Dictionary’s definition of happy is
“Feeling or showing pleasure or contentment.”
Well, that was a slightly more helpful place to start.
From this definition, we can define that;
- Happiness is a state of mind and not a state of being. In other words, it is not permanent. It is not a long-lasting, permanent feature or personality trait, but a more temporary, fluid state.
- Happiness is associated with experiencing pleasure or contentment. This should not be confused with excitement, ecstasy, euphoria, or other more extreme emotions.
So what do you have to do to reach this goal?
Well, the first step is to identify where you are on the scale of happiness (contentment and pleasure) today.
Anyone who knows me knows that I love a Broadway musical and in 1973 Shirley Maclaine sang,
‘It’s not where you start its where you finish’.
She is mostly right, it really doesn’t matter where you start, as long as you understand fully where that place is.
Even Google Maps asks for a starting place, so why shouldn’t you?
To make successful goals, it helps if you can measure them.
For this, I like to use the “Wheel of Life for a Balanced and Purposeful Existence”.
This is a simple but powerfully effective tool to help you visualise all the areas of your life that need to be balanced in order to achieve the often elusive state of “Happiness”.
The wheel is segmented into 8 parts each with their own headings that help identify your current state. The more round your wheel is, the more balanced your life is.
For a smooth life, you want a smooth wheel.
No one wants to drive through life on clunky wheels!
You can choose your own heading, but these are the 8 that I like to work with.
1-Family and Friends: Are they supportive and trustworthy? Can they be built upon and always be counted on? How much of your free time do you spend with them? Etc.
2-Significant Other: Are you open to creating an intimate and loving relationship? Are you free from past resentments or blame in the area of intimate relationships? Etc.
3-Career: “Motherhood”, “Work” or “Volunteering” are all included in this section. Do you love your work? Are your talents and skills used well? Etc.
4-Finances: Are your household incomes enough to meet all basic needs? Are you dependent on loans? Do you have significant debts? Etc.
5-Health: How physically and mentally healthy are you? Are you satisfied with your level of energy? Are you satisfied with your appearance and weight? Do you have any physical discomforts? Etc.
6-Home and/or work Environment: Do you feel nourished and supported by your surroundings, or is it toxic? Are you surrounded by things that have meaning? Etc.
7-Fun & Leisure: Are you enjoying life? Do you have any hobbies or play any sports? How do you spend your free time? Etc.
8-Personal Growth: Are you open to new experiences and eager to learn? Are you curious and connected to both the inner and outer world? Are you contributing to society? Etc.
Once you have examined all of these areas, you will see how and where you should put your focus.
In the immortal words of my friend Tony Robbins,
“Where focus goes, energy flows”.
