I don’t know what you do when you feel you need a confidence boost, but I go and grab my tiara. It is always close by so I don’t have to go far.
I have owned my it for over 23 years as I bought it to wear at my wedding. Maybe it even gave me a confidence boost on that special day!
It’s beautiful! It is gold with delicate swirls and leaves interlaced with roses that have dainty pearls resting inside. It’s the sort of tiara a Disney princess would wear.
I can’t remember how long ago I discovered that it had magical powers, but I’m glad that I did.
When I wear my fairytale tiara, I feel unique, I feel, special and I then feel that magical confidence boost. I think better, I am definitely more creative and productive, it’s almost like I forget to feel scared any more.
I don’t have to do anything special with it, I just place it on my head and carry on as normal. I notice that it makes me sit better, probably a little taller, and I hold my chin up higher. Maybe this is where it’s magical powers lie.
My tiara isn’t my only go-to confidence booster.
I have a few.
One of the others is my Karaoke playlist. It is full of songs that I would love to sing at the top of my voice, ideally holding a diamante encrusted microphone.
I turn the volume up high, and no matter how bad I feel, I can’t help myself, I have to stand up and strut, yes I really do mean strut, around the room. I become the most outrageous and fantastic cabaret singer. The fact that I am no vocalist doesn’t deter me in the slightest.
I love Broadway show tunes and 80’s pop and picture myself performing to my loving fans.
Strangely enough, my tiara never partakes in these sessions. I’m not sure why but maybe Disney princesses don’t do karaoke.
I also own a pair of boots that have a name, they are called my ‘don’t f*** with me’ boots! They also have powers, superhero powers as I feel like a mix of Xena Warrior Princess and Wonder Woman when I wear them. Trust me, no sane person would mess with them.
Trust me, no sane person would mess with them.
These give me a combination of the ‘walking taller’ power from the taira and the ‘strutting’ reflex from the karaoke.
It’s a powerful combination that can’t be taken lightly, so I treat it with the caution that it deserves.
I have always been shy right from a young child and spent most of my adult life worrying about what others thought of me, whether I was good enough or interesting enough.
I recently discovered that confidence doesn’t have to be innate. There are many ways to boost your confidence. Seriously, I will say it again, you do not have to be born confident to be a confident person.
Can you imagine how lifechanging a revelation that was?
I love my tiara, my boots and my playlist, but what about all the other times, the day to day occurrences that still need a confidence or a level of courage that I may not have?
What about when you are asked to introduce yourself at a party or event.
I can’t really say,
hang on a moment whilst I run home and find my tiara,
or when you need to give a presentation, asking for All that Jazz to be played at 150 decibels is probably going to ruin the mood.
For me, learning to be more confident was similar to when I started to learn Italian.
To begin with, everything felt foreign and uncomfortable. I thought it would be impossible and that I didn’t have the staying power.
But I really wanted this, I mean I really, really, wanted this. I was fed up of hiding.
My alter ego loves attention, so why shouldn’t my real persona enjoy some of that too?
I would wait until I was in one of my superhero moments (which are generally created by lifting weight at the gym).
I would then harness its power and do something scary, something totally outside of my comfort zone.
Now don’t forget, I’m not a brave person, so we are not talking about jumping out of planes or anything like that.
The first one for me was joining Toastmasters. This was huge, I was terrified, I thought I may actually die of fright.
I waited until I was riding those superhero endorphins and ran to a meeting, threw myself into the room and started speaking before I could possibly consider any other options.
The strange thing was, no one saw how scared I was and trust me, I was terrified. I could bearly hear anything with all the blood pounding in my ears, and I was shaking so hard I thought I may create an earthquake.
But I did it, and I felt incredible.
This was a feeling that I have got slightly addicted to, this is the feeling that keeps me pushing through the discomfort barrier.
Maintaining what I have learnt is vital.
Confidence is not just like a new language, it is also like a muscle. Once you have worked hard enough to build it up, you must keep training it to maintain it.
I continue to look for new opportunities to push my bravery boundaries, but that will never include jumping out of a plane.
